What does it mean to be a man in 2025?
This question was at the heart of a live conversation we (Tom and Bill Kuegler, Letters With My Father, and me, World of Nuance) conducted here on Substack.
Traditional notions of masculinity are being questioned and redefined as we speak. And three of us wanted to come together to explore the nuances of modern male identity through this open dialogue.
What does vulnerability look like to us? What about courage? How can we navigate changing expectations and roles for men in today’s modern world?
From the challenge of showing emotion to finding balance between strength and sensitivity, we share our personal insights and perspectives on broader cultural shifts in this long-form conversation.
Key Takeaways
Inner strength as calmness under pressure: The ability to remain composed during difficult situations rather than reacting emotionally.
The courage to be vulnerable: How sharing fears and weaknesses can actually strengthen relationships rather than diminish them.
Balancing emotional expression: Finding the middle ground between stoic silence and overwhelming emotion.
The changing landscape of masculinity: How definitions and expectations have evolved across generations.
The importance of father-son communication: Creating spaces for honest conversations that bridge generational gaps.
Moving beyond generational silence: Breaking the cycle of emotional reservation that characterized previous eras of fatherhood.
The false dichotomy in masculine traits: How sensitivity and strength can coexist rather than compete.
The value of curiosity: How genuine interest in others fosters deeper connections.
Our Other Takes on Masculinity
The quiet, curshing burden of masculinity - Tom Kuegler
The weight of inherited masculinity - William Kuegler
American culture is hurting men - Tom Kuegler
Men, The Safe Path Is Destroying Us - William Kuegler
Everyone is brave and cowardly at the same time - Tom Kuegler
What does the world want in a man? - William Kuegler
This is not how men should act - Tom Kuegler
Why every strong man fails sometimes - William Kuegler
Questions For You
No matter what your gender is, we’d like to hear from you:
How do you balance emotional expression with emotional control in your own life?
What would you most want the next generation of men to understand about masculinity?
What does "inner strength" mean to you personally?
Leave a comment and let us know your thoughts!
People & Things We Referenced
General Norman Schwarzkopf: "You learn far more from negative leadership than from positive leadership. Because you learn how not to do it. And, therefore, you learn how to do it."
Mad Men (TV series)
The Courage to Be Disliked (book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga)
Stand By Me (film)
Court of Gold (Netflix documentary)
Audie Murphy (most decorated WWII American soldier)
Of Boys and Men (book by Richard V. Reeves)
Join Our Communities
Letters With My Father is a newsletter showcases the powerful connection between generations through candid, heartfelt correspondence between a father and son. Through open letters, Bill and Tom tackle everything from family dynamics to life's big questions and offer two unique perspectives separated by decades of experience but united by mutual respect.
Subscribe to their newsletter for these authentic exchanges that model vulnerable communication between men across generations.
World of Nuance showcases stories of people living unconventional lives across the globe. Through documentary-style videos and thoughtful essays, Jon Santiago aims to challenge binary thinking and celebrate the beauty found in the many contrasts of life.
Subscribe to my newsletter and YouTube channel to explore different ways of living all over the world.
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